When I was going through a crappy childhood in a crappy school system that didn’t care about kids like me, I felt trapped and depressed. Isolated. Angry. Helpless. I had no control of the situation, and no adult in charge had my back as soon as I entered those glass double doors.

But I had my friends. We stuck together, a sort of a misfit crew, and accepted one another as we were. We gathered together because we were all going through the same thing. We were the nerds, dreamers, writers, geeks, musicians, metalheads, artists, hippies, surfers, clowns, peacekeepers, gearheads, philosophers, poets and punks. We stuck together in school and braved the mobs. We found others like us in towns nearby, and widened our circle of support.

Some of us still keep in touch. I’m happily married to one of them. We grew up and lead interesting, varied lives. We married, traveled, had kids, started businesses, and kept being true to who we are. Most of us, anyway.

I know it’s hard. I know it sucks. But find those people who are like you and will back you. And find a way to rise above. Find something you love, and stick with it. For me, it was my art, books and punk rock. Be defiant. Be stubborn. Anger is something you can channel into positive action, use it for change. Be yourself, and don’t ever let anyone sell you a bill of goods that tells you you’re worthless because you are not like the rest of them. You don’t want to be like the rest of them, you’re better than that.

The bullies are always out there, and when you go on as an adult, you will still encounter them. That’s why you need to surround yourself with kind, positive people who accept you, and you accomplish that by being kind and positive to others, and above all, being kind and positive to yourself. Be deliberate in making your own happiness, demand it, create it. Once you have that core, never let it go. Even in the darkest days, hold on to it tightly, and it will sustain you.

This takes serious balls. It shouldn’t. It should be obvious and simple. But it’s not. And sadly, kids get the crap kicked out of them each day and grown-ups with a responsibility to develop and nurture their potential let it happen.

The book! Isn't she pretty?

So I still haven’t done anything too damned interesting with WordPress. Which makes me feel like I’ve let the nice guys over at Digging into WordPress down since I won their book-give-away contest.

Here’s the scoop: I have no time. Seriously. I work, I commute, I paint on weekends. I’m up at 4:30 on a working day with my Lynda.com and Jillian Michaels. I’m like the mechanic who has a dodgy car. I know there is so much to do to my present site. Believe me, I know. But it’s not happening right now. It will…after the paintings…and I’ll have all sorts of cool artsy graphics to add.

On the upside? My company finally got around to installing a WP blog structure onto our ecommerce site. We were told to do it from an outsourced SEO company so they could fill it w/ keywords. I’ve been wanting it for some time now because we are a content-heavy site with stuff everywhere and my company is based on literary philosophies – which is a nice way of saying we have extremely long posts written in elevated language strewn all over the place – and we all know how folks on the internet “don’t like to read“. I believe a WP blog will be easier to house our heavy content and provide a user-friendly interface for those customers of ours who DO enjoy our content. And, added benefit, keywords can fit nicely into the blog and still be searchable to robots. We can add photos and videos. We can implement widgets and plug-ins to access and track social media and conduct polls. We can give certain editors user permissions to manage their own content. Did I say manage their own content?

So I AM using this book now. Let’s just say it’s at once easy-to-understand and over-my-head. This is development book for somewhat seasoned WP uses who know how to code and don’t go spineless at the mention of databases and PHP.

I suggested my company install the Genesis framework by StudioPress with Prose as a simple, cleanly coded, functional and editable child theme. I wanted a child theme so WP updates wouldn’t mess anything up. I also wanted a paid framework/theme because we need the customer service support, and free themes can be unpredictable. We have a small company with very limited resources and we are constantly called upon to make magic happen, so support is crucial. Cheap support even more so. We don’t have time and manpower to be frittering away valuable hours with new technology.

So it mystifies me to find out my IT dept. will not give me access to the online support forum. There are extensive tutorials but no live support for the main visual designer (me) who chose the theme to start with. Really?

So my new book will come in handy. There is not much we will do….we like the Prose theme simplicity just fine. But I get the feeling I will finally be doing something interesting with WP.

I wish I could do this full-time! I’m very happy with the progress. 2 more to go, and then I line them all up and see if any revisions needs to be made since they will all hang together.

Here’s the latest photos.

Pelican painting. The bird is a bit dark, will fix later on. Ropes could use help too.

Pelican detail

Finsished Ibis. Very happy with this, shouldn't need any touch-ups.

I wrote back asking the email author’s full name, title, law office and phone number. So far, I have not had a reply. It’s hard to take someone seriously when they don’t include a professional letterhead of some sort. But I do take threats seriously. As a content provider, and these days we ALL are, we need to be smart about it so we can protect ourselves, understand our rights, and respect the rights of others.

I’ve consulted with a few lawyer friends, and did a bit of research in Yelp forums and and talked to a few Yelpers who have also been threatened with legal action. I also notified the Yelp legal department and hope to hear from them soon. I will do whatever they tell me to do.

One Yelper told me she has been threatened several times with legal action and is being harassed by a business owner who is now trying to sabotage her business. So far, no one has successfully sued her. She was even threatened by a lawyer she wrote a negative review of. This Yelper has given me some good advice, which was given to her by the Yelp legal team. I will share this with you here:

"I’ve been threatened and served with papers at least five times for negative reviews on yelp now. It can be really stressful dealing with lawyers and angry business owners, but no, I have never removed my reviews. I think people deserve to be warned about the baddies out there and i have a right to post my experiences. Thanks to yelps legal department, I amended them and learned how to write negative reviews that don’t expose me to so much harassment.

For my fellow Yelpers, and other users who write online reviews or blog, it can be helpful to understand what exactly IS libel, slander, defemation, etc. The internet has democratized content creation. Anyone can do it. We, the general public, might not be privy to legal standards that professionals know, and being ignorant can make one a target for the litigious-minded. Therefore I am posting a few links that have recently been sent to me. I hope this helps someone! Anyone can create content, but content comes with responsibility.

• What is a Defamatory Statement
• Practical Tips for Avoiding Liability Associated with Harms to Reputation
• Opinion and Fair Comment Privileges
• Substantial Truth

There is also this useful bit of info, directly from Yelp’s Myths page. It is Myth #7:

"Myth #7: Yelp reviewers get sued regularly by business owners for writing negative reviews

Freedom of speech is a well-protected right, whether that speech is online or in any other form. As a result, reviewers are well within their rights to express their opinions (ranging from “I love the ambiance” to “The cashier was rude to me”) and relate their true experiences (“I ordered the shrimp scampi” and “The doctor wouldn’t accept my insurance”). Some of the most successful business owners on Yelp use their free business owner’s account to contact positive and negative reviewers alike, even when they feel a review is unfair or incorrect. Reviewers are usually thrilled to get a well-meaning response. The handful of business owners who have pursued the “nuclear option” of suing someone over a negative reviewer have met with little success, high legal bills, and a lot more attention focused on the negative review than they originally bargained for. When that happens, we make it a point to involve ourselves early on to protect the rights of legitimate reviewers."

As it stands now, I will act on the advice I have received and remove some content that could be construed as troubling. I do want to make an honest attempt to be of good faith and will do so in the future. But I am leaving the post up according to my right to free speech – I do have the right to share my factual experience. If Yelp advises me to remove it, then I shall. But I’m not going to cower because I received a threatening email from a stranger who won’t identify him or herself. Also, I believe I am contributing to the public’s right to be informed when purchasing goods and services.

More information from Yelp’s site about leaving negative reviews and possible legal ramifications.

Can I be sued for what I post on Yelp? on Ask a Cyber Lawyer.

A recent ongoing lawsuit against a Google reviewer

Reviewer sued over chiropractor review

Business Owner v. User Suit: Settled on Yelp’s Official Blog

Lesson learned? Be reasonable in your critiques of a business. Be fair. Be truthful. Steer clear of exaggeration and embellishment. If you receive a threatening notification threatening legal action about your negative review, do realize most of them are bluffs. But do yourself a favor and educate yourself about defamation laws in your state before posting. Remember that small businesses are involved, and many of them want to do better, and we can help them do that. An unfair review can put someone out of business. But if your experience is truly horrific, the dispassionate TRUTH is all you need to share.

It all comes down to intentions. Are you trying to “get back” at a business in a spirit of spiteful revenge, or contribute to the benefits of an educated consumer and a concerned business owner? A judge in court will assess your intentions within context. Avoid that by judging your own intentions before you post.

Do you have an experience you’d like to share? I’m slow to moderate the comments, but please leave one to add to the conversation. I’m also open to any criticisms or corrections.

Wanna see my current Lynda.com certifications? I’ve been getting lots of them, particularly Adobe Creative Suite CS5 and some Social Media Marketing. Go here!

More progress on the Bokeelia pelican. Sea and sky today. Painting on Gessobord rocks!

Finally, work is moving forward on the Bokeelia paintings. Things have been busy since Matt and I got married last Dec. We just bought a house, and finally after waiting 2 months my easel arrived from Dick Blick. So I now have a real studio in the big room near the pool, and I have the coveted north light.

Here is the underpainting for the pelican. It’s acrylic on 2″ cradled Ampersand Gessobord. I’m exploring brighter colors and using techniques I learned in faux finishing, like stipple and using cheesecloth and sea sponges.

It feels good to get out from behind a computer and in front of an easel. John and Donna have been waiting long enough, I’m looking forward to getting these paintings done for them.

Digging into WordPress by Chris Coyier and Jeff Starr

So yeah, I won this book. I am stoked. I’ve been wanting to redesign this old site of mine for some time now as my skill set has definitely expanded since I first put it up. And I’ve been wanting to do it entirely in WordPress, since I already have it installed onto my existing static site in the form of this here blog.

But time is a fleeting thing….I don’t know how folks do it when they hold down a full-time job like mine. I realize some have time while at work to work on their own stuff (because I know who they are), but I do not. My job is nuts. eCommerce is not for the faint-hearted or lazy. My department consists of exactly 2 designers and we do the work of 20. Even if I didn’t have this obsessive-compulsive New England Puritan work ethic and felt it was OK to work on my own stuff all day, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to do so. I don’t even have time to maintain a proper blog.

What about the rest of the day? Well, I’m up at 4 or 5 am drinking coffee and watching Lynda.com videos, learning about my new CS5 and web technology. Then I work out. Then I go to my crazy job (which I love in many ways) and pump out graphics for a site designed back in 1996. So all the new stuff I know? Unless it’s Photoshop, it’s not doing anyone any good. All our software is old, and we’re running on HTML 4.0 Transitional and suffering from a bad case of tables and divitis. And it’s not like our IT department wants me to be experimenting with Javascript or anything dynamic anyway. So it’s Photoshop, Photoshop, Photoshop, and some Dreamweaver, all day (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing). Then I come home at 7, eat, watch Jeopardy, and go to bed at 9.

Fascinating.

So progress must be had! Lynda is going to take a back seat while I get pumped on WordPress with the help of this book and the kindness of Chris Coyier and Jeff Starr. I can’t believe I actually won this book by telling them I haven’t done a 1 damned interesting thing with WordPress. Many thanks to Chris and his excellent site CSS-Tricks, where I have have spent many hours learning vast quantities of stuff I hope to actually use someday.

…as soon as I move into our new house in June. Yeah, Matt and I bought a house! It has a pool. A POOL!!! And a room for a most excellent art studio with a ton of sun!! Can’t wait to hang all of Matt’s old broken skateboard decks everywhere. A post for another day….

Just saw this today at the Delray Beach Trirail Amtrak station. Those new bike racks they installed? Looks like a good wrench is all that’s needed to remove the rack from the ground and steal a bike. Too bad. Got to park your bike? Either get a bike locker (they have those too) or take it with you on the train.